Monday again...

Seems like the time flies, been trying to keep busy and not to go into one of my wonderful depressing modes...not the easiest thing in the world to do I can tell you that.
So found an oooold game that I love playing, loosing hours by playing it Dungeon Keeper, however haven't played it yesterday since i started a "my little pony" design...or a sexy mlp like a friend of mine wanted as a tattoo. Also got invited to a party, don't know if I want to go, since I've become sortof a recluce only going out when i'm going to the gym etc.
Oh well on thursday I have pre-rehab thing, with painting, now that might be fun, and i might actually meet some fun ppl eventhough all of them has problems..but whatever it gets me out of the apartement at least for a few hours.
When it comes to E, i don't know what to do, I'm not jealous "per-se" that he has a girl talking to him both online and in texting, but it does make me realize how lonely I really am. I also know that my feeling a bit hurt is not on him, it's inside me.
However I do need to really have a talk with him IF he really want to live with me or not, cuz sometimes it doesn't feel that way, and that's probably why I keep procrastinating getting a 3 room apartement. That and where it's going to be. I also need to know that if he leaves I will have to be able to pay the rent... Oh well that's a later "problem" i guess. need to focus on not being depressed out of my whits and not crying infront of E which is hard in this small apartement.
But anywho... going to try to keep this place clean now...not easy that either, and suppress my feeling of just giving up my diet and go on a BINGE. but I have a goal and being a Taurus I will NEVER give up that dream, not now that I've started.
Well that's my monday rant, hope you guys have a good week, I'll try to have one but...well you never know

//Lisah

Dear god I'm boring

I have just now realized this...don't know why. I turn down parties etc not really socialble any longer.
I've never been much for dating and have come to realize that I am as i said a few years ago going to be alone with my cats, it's sad but true. for whatever reason people that I am living with, as friends or as partners seem to after about 3 years get extremely bored with me. I'm not a fun person....even if they knew that I don't do much except for drawing.
Oh well better to realize this now I suppose, the only thing that sucks is that I see all these happy couples everywhere, and I no long am apart of that unity. It truely SUCKS.
As most of those who know me, I'm not much for the hunt, or the chasing for that matter...so from now on FUCK it all. I'm done with this bullshit!
I know that you should never give up on love...but, for now I just don't care. To quote Meg from Hercules: Sometimes it's better to be alone, nobody can hurt you.

And with that I wish you a great weekend, party some for me too
// Lisah